i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
