Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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