THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I AM VODKA MAN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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