i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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