Dual....:-)
The maid of honor just puked.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
