I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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