Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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