Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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