You're my little dorito
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
