Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
