Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
