Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
