Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
