My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
