Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
