Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
