Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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