Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
