then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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