the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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