it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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