it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
