just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
