i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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