I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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