this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
