Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
