If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he laminated a picture of his dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
