if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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