I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
