i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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