I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
