Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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