So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
