I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
