Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
