I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
do nipples grow back?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
