Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize