Non-Jews are for practice
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
