tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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