So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
