I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
