Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
