C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
