I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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