I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Couch. On fire.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
