It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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