sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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