The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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