Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
