I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
