Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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