We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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