Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The adults are the big ones right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
