Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
