What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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