This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
