Got a toothbrush?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
