porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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