at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
