I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
