"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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